What's in a name?

What’s in a name? I’ll tell you…a lot! There’s so much in a name! There are a few things in a name that 1) will stop me from messaging you 2) make you seem like a less legitimate person.  3) make me sad for humanity when I read it.

People that shouldn’t message me:

1) people with Ted in their name. Has anyone ever heard of Ted Bundy? Ya, I’m not trying to get murdered so no. And you would think not too many people have that in their names, wrong. I know this seems trivial but let’s be honest here team: serial killers are real things. Also, I just think people should realize when making their profiles everyone on here already seems dodgy! Why make it worse??? We’re already on a website that’s named after a baby that shoots arrows at people’s hearts…why are we adding fuel to the fire?...it just seems silly…and terrifying. So no, I will not be murdered in the name of a date.

2) If your OKCupid name has anything to do with a cartoon that’s an immediate red flag and do you know why? Because we’re adults. I’m 22 and I have absolutely no time for you foolishness. I don’t need to chit-chat with people whose names are things like “WittleWabbit” or “Teddybearswag” (yes, those are real names I have seen), like seriously just don’t do it. Or you could do it but you never need to message me in your entire life, not only because as I said before, I am an adult, but also because that’s a little creepy.

There’s some names that a list won’t help me explain so I’ll talk about those now:

Screen name: Krackhead.-Do I really need to say anything more? We genuinely have NOTHING to talk about.

Screen name: Imadaddynow.- I went ahead and hid him. You know there are plenty of people out there who don’t mind dating guys with kids and that’s totally fine…I am just not one of those people.

My general rule for how to choose a screen name is similar to the rules of Facebook: if you wouldn't want your parents to see it, don't use it.

There’s another feature on OKCupid that is bothersome to my soul. So if you’re just being a lazy gazy and browsing people’s profiles (which remember you can only do once because it tells them) you can “rank them” from 1-5 stars. What OkCupid doesn’t tell you is that if you rank them a 4 or 5 it emails them telling them you “chose” them. 2 things: 1) chose him? chose him for what??? What does that mean?? I didn’t want them to know I thought they were super fun or cute! I just wanted to be able to easily find them again later in case I wanted to message them! This feature saves all the people you rank so you can easily get back to them. 2) seriously an email?? Really OKCupid? Are you trying to ruin the little game I had?

It’s also really awkward to receive one of those emails because I ask myself the same questions. What have I been chosen for? Did I win a prize??? Did I win the opposite of a prize?

Next week we’ll meet again to discuss messages that say more than “Hi” but still effectively say nothing and make me just as sad.

xoxox,

Leigh