3 days in! Still going STRONG...kinda!

When you begin online dating you are a new fish entering into a medium to large size pool, so for the first few days you get bombarded by every guy who hasn’t seen you or made a love connection, and they are hoping you are the one…I’m not.

 

Before we get into what's been happening I want to address this whole idea that online dating is bad or weird or cause to be super sneaky…I actually think this is the best invention since sliced bread…or beer (sorry mom). I get the chance to decide if I want to go on a date with you BEFORE I waste my time and good make up getting ready! In real life you meet someone by chance or through a friend and you normally have what 10 -20 minutes to figure this person out? Ok Cupid has given me the opportunity to see if you make a good impression before we’re face to face and it’s super awkward because I didn’t know until then that you were a grown man who still doesn’t know how to do laundry…One of my good friends saw I was writing this blog and said “ Oh my gosh!!! You outted yourself as an online dater!!!" Uhh…did I miss something? I wasn’t selling American secrets to foreign countries, I am not a serial killer, I don’t kill small animals…what’s the issue? I believe it’s about time people start being more selective with what they’re embarrassed about.

Moving on:

So many things are happening in my OK Cupid life but I want to write about them in the order in which they are occurring! First things first maybe it's just me, maybe it's my own personal biases but I am learning a lot about what I think people my age should be doing and should not be doing. And a lot of guys are doing a lot of weird stuff.  

1)      Grown men should not be wearing colored contacts. Is it just me or what? I thought that was a thing when I was in like 7th grade.  Apparently I’m wrong and that's still a thing that happens…I had no idea. I get maybe he can’t see, but I don’t think the bright blue contacts you’re wearing are going to help you too much…maybe I’m wrong…but I don’t think so.

2)      The golden rule of online dating: If you don’t have anything to say to me don’t message me. So I got a message from a guy on my OkCupid account and all it said was “hi cutie.” Well first things first never send me a message the just says “hi” that's weird…like you didn't read my profile did you? You obviously have nothing to talk to me about. If you did you would have led off with something like “My chaco’s are my life too!” The “hi” says to me you didn’t read…so it gets really awkward when I get a message from a guy and he likes everything I hate…I’m glad neither of us wasted any more time (see why online dating is awesome from above).

 

Now about the guys that messaged me the day I set up my profile. The first guy was from England and at first I thought maybe he was just from England but lived in the US, (I should have known from the beginning that that would have made way too much sense) so I message him back something like “hey good to hear from you” (I can send back boring messages if I choose to because you initiated this conversation and I have just as little to say to “hi” as you would expect).  Anyhow, we start chatting it up a bit and finally I ask him if he's actually in the Raleigh-Durham area or in England? He responded with “ha ha yeah I actually live in England.” I looked away from the computer and up to the heavens in hopes of better understanding why on God’s green earth he thought he would message me.  I’m not his buddy, I’m not looking for a pen pal, he can’t take me on a date if he’s on another continent.  So I messaged him back and asked why he’d sent me a message if he's in England and I'm in America? Know what he responded with? He said “that's where all the pretty nice girls are here. ;)”  I thought to myself, while you're correct about that, this is also useless and just a little odd don’t you think?  And seriously never send me a winky face. I don’t know if I feel that way because I can’t wink very well or because no one should ever wink at me in real life…online winking is just as terrifying.

Now the other character we need to discuss is the young man who sent me 7 messages in the course of about…ahh I’d say two minutes. There were a few problems with him. 1) this is what our conversation looked like:

9:01- Him: Hi!

9:01- Him: How are you?

9:01- Him: r u there? (as a side note: for 4 more letters he could have spelled out all of the words! Yet, he chose to be illiterate.)

9:01- Him: hello?

9:02- Me: Hello.

9:02- Him: Hey! What’s up?

9:02- Him- gone again?

9:02- Him: hello?

Do we really need to talk about this anymore? It physically pains me to think about it again. 2) I’m 90% sure he was lying about his age, kid was no older than 18 (but was trying hard to pull of 23).  By the last message at 9:02 P.M. I wasn’t just overwhelmed but I was also super over it because calm it down crazy when I get a chance to respond I will! Maybe... So after all of his messages it just seemed appropriate to completely ignore him because he turned out to be kind of weirdo. 

Also, what about OkCupid makes people want to take stupid pictures?  1) why aren’t you wearing a shirt? Where has it gone? Did someone steal it, if so call 911! Don’t just be all hunky doory about it and take a picture! If you’re not on a beach or in a boat you need to be fully dressed.

Along the same lines, what is it with all the awkward selfies? Like seriously where are your friends? 1 selfie I will give you, 7 selfies…it’s time to get off OK Cupid and join a team of some sort.

As I was discussing earlier, I want to document my OKCupid journey as it happens! Meaning next week you will learn about “older white men” (his words not mine) as well as repeat offenders.

xoxox,

Leigh