Mediocre Messages Make Me Sad.

Sometimes I get messages from guys and all I can think is “Dear Lord why me? What did I do? Do I not deserve a literate man who’s capable of completing a sentence?”  The thing about it is I know these men are at least semi literate because they’re typing “sentences”, yes they may be missing a subject or a verb, but they’re still “sentences”. You have no idea how many people send me messages that say things like “you pretty” or even worse “your pretty”, seriously? Can I get an apostrophe?? Sometimes I get messages that are longer but effectively say nothing and that’s what today’s post is going to focus on.  Most of the messages below were sent to me but a couple were sent to a friend of mine, but no matter who they’re going to, they are equally horrible.

1) “You seem fun. may we talk?” –No.

I don’t seem fun, I seem like everyone else on this conflab site. In addition to that I went and checked out how we matched up (based on the answers to all those questions from earlier) we literally had opposite answers for EVERYTHING. I don’t seem fun and if you hate politics and hate discussing politics then I’m probably not going to be very much fun.

2) “How you doing beautiful? I am looking for a friend myself. You should give me a call and help me build us a close friendship. I promise you won't be disappointed. Thank you for your time.”- Literally never.

I don’t want to be your friend at all. You missed an “are” in that first sentence and that bothers me. I will never call you, and do you know why? Because we’re not friends.  I’m already disappointed (especially disappointed that the education system failed you).  You don’t need to thank me for my time, it’s still mine, I gave you none of it.

3) “Hey cutie, you are above average.”- Seriously though, what?

That message basically says “you are distinguishable”. Also, like how above average are we talking here? Am I a B- or a B+? Maybe just a B? I don’t know if he realized that “above average” was NOT a compliment, but someone should probably tell him…Nah, it’s more fun this way.

4) “Marry me! Now before you stop reading…”- Too late, already stopped.

Is there really anything to say here?

All these messages make me sad and tired and sad. I just don’t know what goes through people’s minds when they think of these things! I really just think that a message that says “you’re above average” signals to me that you’re below average and I don’t like that. In time maybe they will change their approach when no one ever responds to them. I’d like to ask the women of online dating to stand with me and not respond to foolishness like this anymore! WE WILL NOT CONTINUE TO REINFORCE POOR CONVERSATIONAL BEHAVIOR!  (the caps were me standing behind a podium and yelling this to the crowd that has gathered to support me).

UPDATE: a guy named “reelneedy1” messaged me this week…why? I just can’t.

Next week, we’ll discuss pictures that are less than helpful and all around just plain suck.

xoxox,

Leigh